


Rules of Engagement

by helila



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, it's about the yearning, they are idiots your honor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28336575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helila/pseuds/helila
Summary: But if I'm pining and you're pining..... then who's driving the skycar?
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Rules of Engagement

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to GemTheGinger for beta-ing!

“—and they were crewmates!”

A loud, feminine voice snapped Lina out of her thoughts. She looked up, watching an asari maiden pass in front of her table, apparently in the middle of an important call. Her vibrant, neon-colored coat flapped behind her as she rushed towards the exit, clutching her off-brand bag to her chest with the fierce love of a mother lion. Lina’s eyes followed her as she exited the coffee shop, her figure and voice disappearing into the late afternoon crowd.

At least, Lina assumed they were nearing the night cycle. It was hard to tell on the Wards with no change to the artificial lighting.

Any hint about the passage of time was only offered by the ever-changing, pulsing, flickering neon signs that had a tendency to induce a dull headache and eye soreness for Lina. She had never been a fan of bustling metropolises.

She knew that being “earth sick” was a condition that affected first time spacers, sometimes the feeling stubbornly lingering for years. But it made no difference between ships and stations.

Living on a spaceship has long ceased to be a challenge for Lina. Different expectations. There was no gentle breeze on the skin; unless someone wished to press their face against a vent, which hardly had the same effect. No sunrise, no sunset, not in the traditional sense anyway. Orbiting around a planet and watching the scenery change below just didn’t carry the same wonder. But Lina never expected it to and that made life in space more acceptable, even preferable to the constraints of a station.

Maybe it was the crowd or the large, open spaces that still felt closed, limited. It didn’t seem appealing to her in the least.

Wandering the great dark expanse, the black canvas punctured by the myriad of stars was its own special kind of freedom; offsetting the part of her that still longed after a deep blue sky and good, green fields. Deep inside, Lina was still a colony girl. Even after learning to adapt to a life untethered from solid ground. The only place that felt close to home had been the first _Normandy_.

After not even a full day on the Citadel, Lina started entertaining the idea of returning the ship and actual productivity. Doing some paperwork perhaps, listening to music. A quick check on the equipment.

_No_ , she shook her head in an attempt to remind herself. _Days off, for fuck’s sake._

Earlier today, she left with the explicit intention of not doing any damn work today and simply trying to enjoy the shore leave.

At first, things were going quite well according to plan. She met up with an old acquaintance in their lavishly decorated, expensive apartment at the Presidium. Successfully evaded said acquaintance’s questions about her work and personal life. Accepted invite to hypothetical future dinner plans. Promised to keep in touch, _for real this time_.

After finally excusing herself —citing important errands— Lina headed over to the sole human antique shop on the Citadel to pick up a book order. Original paperbacks were a true rarity to come across these days. It wasn’t unheard of to wait up to a year for an item to be in stock, or even longer for special editions.

Lina had placed her order well before the Collectors decided to slice the SR1 to pieces. Nothing short of a miracle, the shop wasn’t notified about her MIA status which could have prompted them to cancel on her.

Prized book in hand, Lina hopped on rapid transit and hoped that the coffee shop she had been to last time hadn’t gone out of business during the last two years. Managing a café on the Lower Wards had about the same success rate as betting on a blind racehorse and praying it wouldn’t crash into the audience.

To Lina’s great relief, the shop remained as it was. Situated in a relatively calm neighborhood, she had nothing to worry about. For example, Khalisah al-Jilani suddenly popping out of a ventilation shaft and hounding her with questions.

The place was mostly empty, leaving Lina plenty of tables to pick from. The few customers inside paid her no mind, immersed in either conversation or their datapad. Delighted, Lina sat down with a huge mug of steaming, hot coffee and her copy of Dandelion Wine.

With the eagerness with which one sits down to eat an extravagant meal, Lina opened the book at the first page, ready to immerse herself in the story.

She kept trying to read. She _wanted_ to read. But each time she got through a couple paragraphs, she’d find herself staring ahead with glassy eyes, her brain not registering a single word.

Again and again she became lost in a whirlpool of memories and feelings. The events of the past months replayed inside her mind and branched off into possible outcomes, fears and fantasies of what might come. It wasn’t only the constant threat of failure and the human lives it may cost that enveloped her like a thick, cruel fog. It wasn’t only the doubts about her own humanity chilling her to the bone. It wasn’t only the implications of breaking the rules of mortality and the sense of dread they brought with them, like a delayed promise of divine punishment.

No, as a fine addition to her existing torments, Lina kept finding her scattered thoughts drawn to a specific person. Someone she trusted and cherished as a friend. Until —thanks to some recent developments— that “friend” status had been challenged.

Giving up on reading, Lina closed the book with a sigh. Resting her chin in the palm of one hand, she studied the faded artwork on the cover, tracing along the cracks and creases with her fingers.

_When did things become so complicated…_? she wondered, listening to the muted sounds of people, clinking dishes and slow music.

Building a good rapport with her team wasn’t something she took lightly. Different people required different approaches, and some –like Jack— needed a whole lot of compromise. Others –like Garrus— were less of a mystery and, with time, showed more willingness to open up. Lina felt pretty damn proud when the former cop dropped the arrogant know-it-all act and started to focus more on being a supportive squad member. He’d become actually fun to be around.

When the wisecracks and quips began exactly, Lina couldn’t tell. One thing followed another, and they eventually fell into the routine of friendly banter, both on and off missions. She didn’t think much of it for a long time, not with so many things at stake and barely being able to catch her breath. And then… _well._

Lina shifted uneasily in her seat, moving both hands to the back of her neck.

There was this great divide between the Then and the Now, slicing not only her life, but her person into two inconsonant parts. An abrupt ending and an impossible start. It was never going to fit together again.

Her thoughts circled back to the _Normandy_ , existing both as the SR1 and the SR2. The ship that laid in pieces somewhere on Alchera, while also being docked at the Citadel. The ship that shouldn’t be. _God_ , she had a hard time getting used to it.

It was an odd feeling, familiarity and foreignness existing in her heart at the same time.

_At least Garrus is still there_ , a faint smile appeared on her lips as she remembered their last talk.

Well, truth be told it was less about the talking and more about the comfortably shared silence, the lingering glances and the kiss that didn’t happen. Even now as her mind slipped back into the memories, the skin of her cheek and hip tingled with the same intensity as when Garrus’s palms caressed it. The blood in her ears drummed just as loud now as it did when their faces were only inches apart, hesitating on the invisible boundary between friendship and _something more_. Their mixing breath brought warmth to the otherwise cold air of the cargo bay.

All of that was gone in the instant that Gabby Daniels happened to walk in on them.

Lina could feel heat flushing her cheeks red. The all too familiar feeling of shame was strong, making her bury her face in her hands. But all it accomplished was making herself more aware of her embarrassed state.

There was no goddamn way that the engineer didn’t see them. In fact, Lina would’ve freely bet a decent amount of Cerberus credits that the poor woman dropping her entire toolbox –and alerting her and Garrus— was a direct result of pure shock. It would require a high skill in mental gymnastics to find a reasonable explanation to why the two of them were snuggled up behind the Hammerhead, other than _“well, you see Gabby, when a human and a turian really like each other…”_

The three of them followed up this little interlude as any sane person would: awkwardly pretending that nothing happened, before shuffling away from the scene on their separate ways.

On the way back to her cabin, Lina felt resolute in her decision to not keep things hanging in the air. _Next time_ , she told herself.

She kept telling herself this for the entire week that followed, at each opportunity that presented itself for the two of them to talk. There was always one excuse or another and as more days passed, her determination wavered into confusion, doubt and finally, fear.

After all, an almost-kiss was hardly proof of any solid feelings. The more she thought about it, the more certain she became of the one-sidedness of the situation. But try as she might, she couldn’t push back against the yearning.

_I’m such an idiot_ , she chided herself in a futile attempt. Part of her regarded these turbulent emotions as inappropriate. This part of her however was overruled by a majority; a different part of Lina that argued the validity of these feelings by pointing out the short and unpredictable nature of life. The evidence was clear. Death rarely announced itself in advance, in the same way that weird cousins liked to drop in at the worst possible moment. In conclusion, any impulsive decision and the disastrous consequences would pale in comparison to burning up in the atmosphere of a planet. Further conclusion, she should see if Garrus would be free tonight.

Exhaling through her nose and running her hands through her hair, Lina tried to compose herself before reaching for the handheld communicator in her pant pocket. Deemed a tad outdated and “uncool” by current trends while mostly used by the older generations, the lightweight device offered two-hand typing which Lina preferred to the Omni-tool’s one-handed interface.

With a couple quick taps, she opened up her messages with Garrus. Her thumbs twitched over the interface. The blank space between their last exchange and the input field has never felt so threatening before.

“How’s it going?” she typed, before promptly deleting it.

“Wassup?” _No. Absolutely not._

“Hey!” was all she could muster before hitting Send.

Chewing on her bottom lip, Lina watched the status change from Sending to Received.

_Okay_ , she thought and turned off the screen. The deed’s been done and staring at her device wouldn’t really matter at this point. Garrus would reply eventually. In the meantime, she could drink another coffee or two. Hell, she could just go alone and see what the Ward had to offer.

_He might not see it right away_ , she told herself, _or might not see it at all until a couple hours later. Better not count on it._

The handheld chimed.

_Oh no._

Her hand hovered over the device, uncertain. It might not be the chat at all, could be just a damned software notification. Lina couldn’t ignore the feeling of disappointment the latter option promised her.

Another chime.

_It has to be him._

Lina sucked in a deep breath, and reactivated the screen. She had two unread messages from Garrus.

Lina exhaled with relief, the knot in her stomach lessening. With a smile tugging at her lips, she opened the conversation.

“Hello :)” The first message said, the smiley face making Lina grin wide.

“Everything okay?” The second message followed.

“Yes” she typed, willing her trembling fingers to work against the anxiety. “You busy?”

He replied not long after.

“Just shopping. Need anything from CBA?”

“Nope. Doing anything after?”

Pause.

“Don’t think so. Heading back to the ship.”

Lina clicked her nails against the case. She could back out now, simply wish him a good night and end the conversation. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. They would simply remain as they were, friends with tactical benefits.

Still, nothing strictly forbade the two of them from just hanging out, sans weapons. She had just the idea in mind for some laid-back quality time.

“How about” she tapped away “a couple of drinks with your favourite Commander? I know a place.”

Garrus replied faster than she expected.

“Is it a place with 200 yrs old human pop blaring from the speakers?”

“Maybe.”

He replied with a crying emoji.

“Sounds terrible.” Came the follow up. “Give me 1 hr.”

Lina chuckled, muffling the sound with the palm of her hand.

“I’ll ping you with the place. See you there!”

“Can’t wait.”

She could practically hear his sarcastic drawl in her head.

Downing the rest of her coffee and regretting it immediately as the cold liquid hit her taste buds, Lina shuddered with disgust. Still, leaving behind any amount of food seemed rude.

Putting away the handheld and sliding the small book into one of the many pockets of her jacket, Lina stood up to leave. She fired up her Omni-tool on her way to the door and picked out the destination on the map, already grinning ear to ear. Oh, the place was perfect indeed. One of the many hidden gems of the Citadel that she had the luck of finding. And Garrus was about to find out as well why Lina took every chance she could to drop in there.

After successfully forwarding the location to him, she dismissed the interface with a flick of her wrist. Weaving through the late crowd with ease, Lina’s steps bounced on the pavement almost as if the gravity had turned off a notch.

She took the tram this time, not even upset that every seat was taken. As she held on to one of the handles, Lina watched the scenery of buildings fly by, occasionally catching a glimpse of her own reflection in the window.

Lina quirked a brow as a sudden idea took root in her mind. After a bit of consideration, she lifted her free hand up to the top of her head. Quickly pulling out the pins and band holding her bun together, she let the dark brown curls fall down on her neck and shoulders.

As best she could tell from her blurry reflection, the resulting look was not too shabby. Good hair days were hard to come by, but apparently today was one of them. Not to say Lina had any idea whether turians cared about hairstyles or not, as far as Garrus might be concerned, she could be sporting a buzzcut and it wouldn’t matter in the slightest.

Sure, if she _really_ wanted to know the extranet would offer a couple articles on the matter, probably with highly conflicting conclusions. She didn’t have to exert her brain cells to imagine what kind of advice would be floating around in a public space where anyone and their grandmother can voice their opinion. Going bald for your date was definitely up there somewhere.

Lina shook her head. Garrus was not her date. He just happened to be a friend she had feelings for; a completely different thing on its own. The word “date” has never been uttered by either of them. With absolute certainty, if she happened to stumble upon a dictionary and searched for the word “date” inside, it wouldn’t have a picture of them under it. Even if they almost kissed.

From the tram station where Lina got off, it only took her a couple minutes of walking until spotting the winking neon sign of the bar, Close Encounters of the Third Drink.

Slashing guitar riffs and dynamic synth tunes greeted her as she stepped through the door. Lina quickly recognized the song as “Hungry Like the Wolf”.

_…Straddle the line in discord and rhyme,_

_I'm on the hunt, I'm after you…_

Some might have found the interior design in questionable taste. The black and white checkered tile floor and bright plastic furniture bathed in neon lights, surrounded by randomly scattered geometric shapes and the occasional squiggly line on the walls. Movie and band posters told tales of a long bygone era, like the hieroglyphs of a pharaoh’s crypt. While this sight could elicit a response of disgust and panic from an ordinary observer, a person of high taste would simply recognize the artistic genius in the chaos. Lina took in the view, like it was a place of worship.

She took a deep breath of the stale air. She caught a hint of cheap beer, confirming her suspicions of the bar still serving Eastern European imports.

Lina nodded at the bartender –and owner— before taking a seat at her usual table. Vyvian responded in kind, recognizing her as a regular despite Lina visiting this place only a handful of times before. The Third Drink didn’t exactly have a lot of returning guests.

Most of them were already present, enjoying their drinks with eyes glued to the vid screen mounted above the bar.

Lina had nothing better to do than wait. She glanced around the room, taking stock of her favourite posters. Located right across from her was the titular movie that inspired the bar’s name; a relic that had its own ideas about how first contact might happen for humankind.

_Don't you try and pretend_

_It's my feeling we'll win in the end, I won't_

_Harm you or touch your defenses,_

_Vanity, insecurity uh-uh!_

Tapping her boots to the rhythm, Lina considered the absurd contrast of the First Contact War and her not-date with Garrus. While it was only the faintest memory in her mind, her family lived through the shock and the severe consequences. Her father would’ve surely had a few unpleasant words about Lina befriending a turian.

A tall figure in the doorway caught her attention. It didn’t take long for her to recognize Garrus as he tentatively took a step inside, almost like he had doubts about being at the right place.

Every other thought was swept out of her head in an instant. To some degree Lina was still aware of the world around her, but most of it simply faded into static.

Garrus finally spotted her and they locked gazes. He flared his mandibles in a delighted smile, one that made Lina’s heart want to jump out of its place. She watched him stride over to her table, not taking his eyes off her for even a second. _He left both the armor and the visor at home_ , Lina noted with a satisfied grin.

“Look at that, Garrus Vakarian out of his shell,” she teased. “Now that’s something you don’t see every day.”

“Thought I should dress for the occasion.” Garrus smoothed over his jacket.

“I’m not complaining.”

He replied with a flustered flick of his mandibles, before sitting down on the seat next to her. After a quick look around the place, he cleared his throat.

“This is uh… interesting.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s…” Garrus hesitated, his eyes wandering from one poster to another, before settling back on Lina. “It’s very _you._ ”

“Oh.” She raised a brow. “I hope that’s a good thing.”

“Of course it is,” he replied in a more serious tone.

Now it was Lina’s turn to cough nervously. Hoping to escape further embarrassment, she quickly stood up and motioned towards the bar.

“I um- I think maybe… can I get you a drink?”

Garrus blinked.

“Do they serve dextro beer?”

“I actually don’t recommend the beer here, either dextro or levo.” Lina frowned apologetically.

“Huh… alright then. Turian brandy?”

Lina nodded and made a beeline for the bar. Leaning against the counter without a care in the world, Vyvian took one long look at Garrus, before turning back to Lina.

She pointed her thumb at the bottles behind her.

“My menu for turians might be a bit limited.”

“Please tell me you got some brandy,” Lina pleaded, crossing her fingers behind her back.

After a long, annoyed sigh, Vyvian turned around. Lina watched with growing concern as the bartender sorted through her selection of booze, shaking her head occasionally.

“Sorry, love. No brandy for your boyfriend.”

Warmth crept across Lina’s neck and cheeks, which she tried her best at ignoring. She must have looked desperate enough, since Vyvian motioned at her to wait before picking off a couple of different bottles from the shelf.

“No worries, I’ll make up something,” she smirked while starting to mix the liquids together. “What’s _your_ poison for tonight?”

“Just a gin tonic.”

“So, the usual. Nothing fancy for your date night?”

Noticing Lina’s barely disguised anger, Vyvian broke out in a shit-eating grin.

“Alright, one Primarch’s Drink—” She pushed one tall glass with a swirling dark liquid and a straw in front of Lina. “And a good old-fashioned gin tonic.”

Vyvian put the fizzing, clear drink next to the other, then held out the credit chit reader. When the transaction concluded, she gave Lina one last wink.

Swallowing the biting remark in her throat, Lina picked up the glasses and slowly walked back to the table with them.

Careful to not slosh it all over the place, Lina put the mystery drink down in front of Garrus. He regarded it with the same enthusiasm one might give a half-chewed pizza offered by a drunk pal.

“That’s not brandy.”

“They didn’t have any.”

Garrus slowly raised the glass, like he was looking at evidence from a crime scene.

“What is it then?”

“Primarch’s Drink.”

He turned back to her with a puzzled look in his eyes. Unsure how to proceed, Lina risked a tentative smile at him. Luckily, it worked.

“You always manage to surprise me,” Garrus chuckled, lightly shaking his head.

With the tightness in her throat gone, Lina let out a relieved laugh.

“Thought you were going to bail for a hot minute.”

“Me?” Garrus drawled. “A drink’s not going to scare me off.”

“Hoped so,” she murmured.

Lina leaned forward, clinking her glass to his.

“Bottoms up, Vakarian!”

She watched Garrus take a long sip while smiling into her own drink. He raised his browplates in surprise.

“You know what? It actually tastes good.” He flashed a smile at Lina. “This was a pretty good idea.”

“Oh well y’know—” The end of her sentence got lost in the gin tonic.

Garrus thumped his thumbs against the glass, meanwhile the song lyrics seeped into the temporary silence between them.

_…I've got to let you know,_

_I've got to let you know,_

_You're one of my kind…_

“How did you find this place anyway?” he asked at last.

Lina gulped down her drink.

“Funny story actually!” She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “It was my first time on the Citadel and it was right after we tried to explain the shitstorm on Eden Prime to the Council. I was feeling in dire need of some distraction…”

She leaned back in her chair.

“So, I picked a direction and figured the rest will take care of itself. Somehow, I wound up just outside this place and then I hear—” she paused to take a meaningful look at Garrus, “the absolute fucking worst singing I ever heard in my entire life.”

He cocked his head to the side, snickering.

“I assume you were curious.”

“Damn right I was!” Lina smiled. “I came right in and apparently some gal was having a bachelorette party or something. One of the asari was trying her best at karaoke, but ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ is not for rookies, oh no…”

She shook her head, recalling the disastrous singing.

“…But they were a good bunch, had quite a couple rounds of drinks with them. The rest is history,” Lina sighed.

“You’ve got a real talent for finding strange friends,” Garrus chuckled.

“Like you?”

“Damn, direct hit! I set myself up for that one.”

Seeing as both of them had nearly finished their drinks, Lina began to rise from her chair.

“How about a cold drink for that burn?”

“Actually-” Garrus leaned forward and gently grabbed her wrist, “let me get this round.”

Despite the electric feeling burning through every nerve in her arm, somehow Lina had managed to remain composed.

“Sure, go ahead,” she replied with a smile, while silently screaming inside.

Lina slowly sunk back into her chair, following Garrus to the bar with her eyes.

“Vyvian, I swear to God…” she exhaled while fervently praying that the bartender wouldn’t drop a stupid comment to him. It didn’t take a detective to figure out that Vyvian liked to stir shit up, just for the sake of her own amusement. Lina could only hope that Garrus had retained enough of his C-SEC training to not fall for the bartender’s tricks.

She watched with bated breath as the two seemingly exchanged a couple words. Finally, when Garrus turned around with two glasses in hand, Lina could feel the tension ease in her muscles.

“So, I gotta ask something…” he said as he put down a gin tonic in front of her.

Lina sucked in a deep breath.

“Yeah?” She asked in the most nonchalant way that was humanly possible.

“This lady swears on this bar being the first human night spot-” Garrus sat down, “that was established on the Citadel, back in the day. But as far as I know, that’s on the Presidium.”

“Oh.”

Lina forced her facial muscles to portray some sort of emotion that could be described as _normal_ and not _dangerously close to freaking out._

“Down To Earth, I think it’s called?” Garrus continued, seemingly oblivious of Lina’s inner turmoil.

“Ah, the fancy-pants place,” she scoffed. “Yeah that’s the official one.”

“So, this one is… the unofficial one?”

“I wouldn’t bet on it.”

“Huh.”

Garrus appeared to be more confused than ever, eliciting a giggle from Lina.

“Don’t dwell on it.” She reached after her glass. “You’ll find about another ten or so claiming the same thing, probably in this district alone.”

Garrus chortled in response, picking up his own drink.

“That reminds me…” He swirled the liquid around and started recounting one of his old C-SEC operations involving a team of salarians, a volus restaurant owner and a whole lot of illegal activity. Soon enough Lina found herself enraptured with his voice while every other noise around them melted away into the background. She sipped on her drink, enjoying the bittersweet taste on her tongue and the coolness in her throat, meanwhile the alcohol was slowly building up heat in her chest and cheeks. The pleasant buzz of intoxication slowly but surely washed away her worries. By the time Garrus had reached the end of his tale, Lina had already forgotten why she felt so nervous in the first place.

“…of course, all the paperwork ended up on my desk.” Garrus concluded, finishing off his drink.

“Hmm, sounds to me like someone got what they deserved.” Lina smirked, earning herself a jab in the ribs.

Another round of drinks and another tale later –in which Lina recalled how she got banned from a clothing store— they’d both relaxed enough that they were sitting shoulder to shoulder, deep in conversation.

“Would ya ever want to go back?” Lina asked from the rim of her glass.

“To C-SEC?”

“Yeah.”

Garrus shrugged after a short consideration.

“Not much to go back to, really. Unless…” He gazed into his nearly empty glass, “I want to get into another argument with my father or somethin’.”

“Is it that bad?”

Another shrug.

“We haven’t talked in a while so… I wouldn’t really know, I guess.”

Lina felt her heart twist around painfully upon hearing the agonizing regret in his voice. In some deeply buried part of her psyche a memory stirred, resonating with the same kind of grief, the one that keeps people up in the dead of night.

She reached out, placing her hand on his. The warmth seeped into her skin.

“Life’s too goddamn fucking short, Garrus.”

His gaze wandered from her hand to her face.

“And it still wrecks you.”

“It does.” Lina paused. “Beats being dead in the ground, tho’.”

Garrus let out a sharp, bitter laugh.

“You need to stop bringing that up, I—” He shook his head. “I hate thinking about it, thinking about you being…”

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, giving his hand a squeeze. “I shouldn’t—”

Garrus put his other hand on top of hers, caressing it with his thumb.

“Just… stay. Stay here, with me.”

The air caught in Lina’s throat. Not only that, but it was as if the entire station itself had stopped spinning, as the two of them stared into each other’s eyes wistfully.

_Oh, I’m an idiot_ , the realization dawned on her. _I’m a capital Dumbass._

They stopped being _just_ friends quite some time ago.

At that exact moment, as if some invisible hand had turned the background noise back to maximum volume a lovestruck voice started to sing from the speakers.

_I can't fight this feeling any longer,_

_And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow…_

Lina knew better than to blame it on some divine revelation. Her gaze snapped to the bar, where Vyvian was standing with a satisfied grin on her face.

“Jesus _fucking_ Christ,” Lina hissed.

_What started out as friendship has grown stronger,_

_I only wish I had the strength to let it show…_

Garrus’s voice asked for her attention.

“Lina?”

“Do you want to leave?” she asked, noticing his discomfort.

“Please. This is making my ears bleed.”

“I’m sorry,” she muttered and gave his hand one last squeeze, before withdrawing.

While walking towards the exit and passing in front of Vyvian, Lina took a second to shoot a telling glance at the bartender, which she reciprocated with a friendly handwave.

The singer’s voice bid them a last goodbye as they stepped through the door and out into the street.

_…It's time to bring this ship into the shore_

_And throw away the oars, forever…_

“Unbelievable,” Lina mumbled under her breath.

She glanced at Garrus, hoping to guess his frame of mind. He was regarding her with a quizzical, but tender look.

“What should we do now?” she asked.

The question encompassed more than just their plans for the night.

Garrus gave her a smile, offering the crook of his elbow.

“How about a walk?”

She took his arm, holding on tightly as they began to make their way forward. There was still quite a busy life on the streets, people passed them by but neither of them paid much attention to it. Right now, anything worthy of notice only existed in the small bubble of space they occupied together. They didn’t talk, enveloped in the comfort of shared, knowing silence.

For the first time in years, Lina let go of control. She let Garrus guide her through winding passageways until the crowd had slowly disappeared from their side. Content with the shared warmth of their bodies, questions like _where_ and _why_ weren’t of concern.

After some time, he stopped at an elevated walkway that overlooked a good portion of the district. The glimmering, colorful lights were quite a sight.

“I hoped that I had the directions right.”

Garrus sounded proud. Lina huddled closer, feeling him sigh with satisfaction.

“Pretty damn impressive,” she murmured.

If there was ever going to be a perfect moment it had to be this one, Lina knew. She had already let quite a few pass by, out of fear and chronic overthinking.

Moving around to face him, she let go of Garrus and instead put her arms around his waist, pulling him into an embrace. Pressing her face against his neck she snuggled close, inhaling his scent. It reminded Lina of metal and petrichor. This close, she could also feel a steady rumble emanating from him.

He tensed up in surprise, but only for a brief second, before his arms hugged her even closer.

“You mean so goddamn much to me,” she breathed against his skin, despite her chest choking full of butterflies.

The rumble grew louder and Garrus nuzzled against her head.

“I wanted to say the same… for such a long time.”

A giggle broke out of Lina at the absurdity of the situation. Had they really been tip-toeing around this for so long?

She pulled away to look him in the eyes. The same longing greeted her that she recognized in herself.

“Do turians kiss?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

A tremble ran along Garrus’s mandibles.

“Not like humans do, but…” He lifted a hand to gently cup her face, “I’m willing to experiment.”

Lina’s eyelids fell shut as she leaned in, pressing her lips to Garrus’s mouth. It felt softer than she’d expected. Still distinctively alien, still a little clumsy with their shared inexperience, but a kiss nonetheless. It still made her weak in the knees.

She pulled back, peering up at Garrus from under her eyelashes. He seemed equally captivated.

“We’ll need more practice,” he exhaled with a smile.

“Promise?”

In response, Garrus moved his palm from her cheek to cradling the back of her head.

“Let me show you how turians kiss.”

He dipped his head, gently pressing his forehead to Lina’s. The vibrations from his subvocals traveled along her scalp and down her spine like a pleasant shiver, all the way to where his other hand rubbed the small of her back.

Her own hands snaked under Garrus’s jacket and up his back, feeling the muscles and plates beneath his shirt.

Lina’s eyes fluttered shut as Garrus tilted his face, nuzzling her nose with his. A shaky gasp escaped her when their mouths brushed against each other and she kissed him again, hungry and desperate.

If only minutes or hours passed, she couldn’t tell. As far as gravity was concerned, Lina felt she’d float away into space, if she hadn’t grabbed onto Garrus’s shirt as tightly as possible.

A breathy “wow” was all she could manage after they separated.

Eyes still closed, she rested her head against Garrus’s while he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

“Impressed?” His voice was little more than a murmur.

“Mhm.”

“Good,” she heard him chuckle. Then after some blissful silence, he added, “I really like your hair this way.”

“Really?” Lina pulled away, blinking sleepily at him. “Why?”

“Dunno, it’s just…” Garrus wrapped a strand around his finger. “It’s just pretty. And soft.”

Once again, Lina could feel her cheeks blush at the compliment. Guess that solved the question about –one specific— turian’s feelings about long hair.

The romantic moment was abruptly interrupted by a long, impatient rumble emanating from her stomach. Lina stepped back, putting a hand over it as if that could silence the rebellious organ.

“Damn! Guess I’m hungry.”

“I could go for some spicy noodles,” Garrus said with a smile, taking Lina’s free hand in his own. “I know a place.”

Lina scoffed, recalling the disastrous night out that ended with one hell of a hangover and a box of cold noodles.

“You won’t let that one go, huh?”

“No chance.”

She rolled her eyes in mock-annoyance, but with a smile playing in the corners of her mouth.

“Fiiine.” She gave him a little kiss on his uninjured cheek. “But only ‘cause you’re cute.”

Garrus replied with a skeptical look, but the flutter in his mandible spoke otherwise and Lina understood. Both of them had their scars, physical or otherwise. She could only hope that despite the long road behind, the future would be kinder to both of them.

At least now, they had each other.


End file.
